Another day done

Well, I think its safe to say, I'm over my "pity party" phase. I swear, if anyone is reading this, they'll think I'm an Emotional basket case. If you do, don't worry, I've had to stop myself and really think about that too.

I've started getting things in order, I've decided its time to stop feeling sorry for myself, and stop wishing things to happen. I can't expect it all to happen on its own, but come on, lets face it, the idea is nice, right?

But no, I have to make it happen, and I have to stop living on the hopes and dreams, its time i start accepting my reality, and stop hiding from it. I know I can do this, maybe not going off of my strengths, rather my stubbornness.

There still remain 4 things, Alright, lets say 5 things in this life that I want at this moment. Everything is in question right now, and its just something i need to accept, rather then beating myself down.

I'm tired of losing myself to the darker side of myself. My thoughts become completely irrational, I hurt myself constantly through the nights and days, thoughts won't stop, fears take over, and I always live through the worst of things, without them even happening, I question myself all the time, and my worth, because of past mistakes.

Its such a dark, lonely place to be.. Not somewhere I want to be. Thankfully, despite my past feelings, and beliefs, I am stronger than I give myself credit for. Just sometimes, I lose that faith in myself, but with everything I've been going through, who can honestly blame me?

Things are going well so far.. two days filled with getting things set up and moving again. So far, I'm off to a good start, and this start, is where I will stay, and let it progress slowly and move on as time goes on ..

Im feeling good, I'm feeling happy, I'm some what hopeful, and slowly moving out of where ever it was that i was